Plus some techniques for easing the anxiety

(Editor’s Note: This feature is a joint effort, combining ChatGPT’s research capabilities with our staff’s writing and editing skills.)

_________________________

NETWORKING: THE VERY word makes many people want to close their eyes and curl up in the fetal position. Despite being one of the most effective ways to grow professionally, make meaningful connections, uncover opportunities, and potentially make new friends, networking is consistently ranked among the top career-related fears. For some, it even ranks alongside public speaking as something to avoid at all costs. But why does networking inspire so much anxiety? And, more importantly, how can you move past that fear to become a confident and successful networker?

At its core, networking is about reaching out to people—sometimes complete strangers—and hoping for a positive response. That act of vulnerability naturally triggers a fear of rejection. Many of us worry about being brushed off, ignored, or judged as unimportant or “less than.” The thought of walking into a crowded room where everyone already seems to know each other only makes us feel like the proverbial sore thumb. Rejection hurts, no matter how small, and our brains are wired to avoid it. Unfortunately, networking often places us in exactly the situations where rejection is possible, making the experience feel risky and emotionally draining.

Another problem is that many professionals associate networking with schmoozing, or “using people” in an act of forced self-promotion. Struggling to participate without feeling uncomfortable or insincere, we imagine awkward exchanges in which everyone is talking only because they want something. But the truth is, effective networking isn’t about transactional exchanges—it’s about relationship-building.

Networking also puts us outside our comfort zones, spotlighting insecurities about social skills, professional value, or conversational ability. Especially for introverts and those with social anxiety, networking can be terrifying. Large events, noisy mixers, or striking up conversations with strangers can drain energy quickly. Even the extroverts among us may sometimes feel uncertain: What do I say? What if I run out of things to talk about? That intense pressure often leads to avoidance, which means missed opportunities for growth.

Finally, some of us believe every networking encounter must immediately yield a job lead, a client, or a tangible opportunity. When those expectations aren’t met, disappointment sets in—and the whole process feels like a failure.

In reality, networking is a “long game.” Relationships take time to build, and opportunities emerge gradually. Misunderstanding this dynamic can discourage many of us from even trying.

***

DESPITE ALL OF the above, networking is a cornerstone of career success. Studies consistently show that anywhere from 70 to 85 percent of jobs are filled through networking rather than through formal applications. People like to hire those they know, or with whom they have a mutual trusted connection. Beyond job hunting, networking connects people with mentors, industry peers, potential collaborators, professional allies, and maybe even lifelong friends. Those of us who learn to navigate networking not only access new opportunities but also build reputations as well-connected, resourceful professionals. 

The good news? Like any skill, networking confidence can be developed with practice and the right approach. One of the most powerful ways to ease networking anxiety is to reframe what networking means. Instead of thinking of it as “selling yourself” or asking for favors, view it as planting seeds of genuine connection. When you focus on building relationships rather than extracting value, the pressure decreases.

People are fascinating. Ask questions. Be curious about others’ stories, challenges, and goals. Different backgrounds and life experiences produce stories that not only are interesting, they may also give you a new idea or perspective on life and work and careers. Share your experiences when relevant, but don’t feel the need to dominate the conversation. Think of networking as creating a professional support system—people you learn from, share with, and help over time. Opportunities often flow naturally from these authentic relationships.

Fear often comes from uncertainty—so preparation can dramatically boost your confidence. Before an event, remind yourself: “I’m here to learn about others, not just to talk about myself.” Embrace the goal of learning something interesting about each person you speak with. This shift alone can make networking feel far less intimidating.

Beyond that general shift in mindset, it also helps to do a little research on an upcoming networking event. Look up key participants on LinkedIn and also review the event agenda. Going in with a bit of context gives you conversation starters and reduces the “fear of the unknown.”

You might even practice a simple way to introduce yourself in order to prevent fumbling in the moment. Keep it short: who you are, what you do, and what you’re interested in. For example: “Hi, I’m Sarah. I work in IT project management, and I’m especially interested in learning how companies are adapting to A.I.” And instead of pressuring yourself to “meet everyone,” aim for just two or three meaningful conversations. Celebrate those small wins—they add up over time. The more you practice, the easier it gets. Approaching people eventually feels less like a high-stakes performance and more like a natural part of your professional life.

To that point, remember that networking doesn’t end when the event does. In fact, the real power of networking lies in the follow-up. Sending a thoughtful message or LinkedIn request afterward helps solidify the connection and shows genuine interest. This doesn’t have to be complicated. A short note thanking them for the conversation and mentioning a detail you discussed is often enough. For example: “Hi Mark, it was great to meet you at the chamber luncheon yesterday. I enjoyed hearing about your company’s new manufacturing process. Let’s stay connected—perhaps we can exchange ideas on workforce training in the future.”

Consistently nurturing connections—by sharing an article, congratulating someone on a career milestone, or simply checking in—builds trust and rapport. Over time, those small actions transform brief encounters into valuable professional relationships.

***

FEAR OF NETWORKING is very normal, but it doesn’t have to hold you back. By shifting your mindset, preparing intentionally, and following up with care, you can transform networking from a dreaded chore into a rewarding career skill. Imagine the difference: Instead of standing awkwardly at the edge of the room, dreading rejection, you enter confidently, knowing you only need a couple of genuine conversations. Instead of worrying about being “fake,” you focus on curiosity and authenticity. Instead of seeing networking as a one-off interaction, you build long-term professional relationships that grow over time.

The fear may never disappear entirely—but like any fear, it can be managed and transformed into positive action. And when you master it, you unlock doors to opportunities, mentorships, and collaborations you might never have found otherwise. Remember: The best networkers aren’t the ones who collect the most business cards—they’re the ones who build the most meaningful relationships.
________________________________
ChatGPT is a contributing-editor-in-training.